Puppies!

This cheered me up today. I got to hold one of my friends puppies. This little one, came up and wanted to sit on my lap. If I could I'd have her, but having gone through it last year and finding out how hard it is, and also with having just bought new leather furniture, it's a no no! LOL.

My Xmas/ New year Message

This year has been one of some up and downs for me. It had a lot of positives, as well as some negatives. Like getting a puppy and only realizing it wasn't for us and having to give her up was awful. It was a very painful lesson.

But the worst lesson of all was my father dying this month, and not being able to say goodbye to him, because we had fallen out.

I've learnt so much out of this, and basically I am reaching out to all those who still have both their parents with them, and even those who only have one of them.

Any squabbles you have mean nothing. It's not until you can't say goodbye that you realize this.

So please, if you are lucky enough to have one or both of your parents here, pick up the phone and call them or even better visit them. Tell them how much you love them, because one day it could be too late.

Material things don't mean a thing in life, it's the people in your life that count. Every second of every minute you spend with them should be cherished.

Remember, your parents are human too, and they will make mistakes, they're just living day by day just as you are. They don't know everything, and they may be wiser than you, but sometimes things can get in the way, and they can become hurt too, and do things that cause walls to be built.

You can tear those walls down, and the only way to do this is through love, and realizing we all make mistakes.

Thankfully I still have my mum with me, and there is no way I will ever let her go.

My dad

This is my dad in the picture with me on my wedding day. I miss him so much.
Rest in peace dad, we always did love you more than you ever knew. I feel you with me each day and I know you're with us. If I could turn back time, I would.

Funeral on Friday

Friday is dads funeral, and I still can't believe he's gone. I can see him in my mind clearly, every detail of his face.

Last night I couldn't sleep, and when I closed my eyes I could see him looking out of a window (like a shop window) and he was surrounded by lights. I called to him and he turned and looked at me, and he looked sad, but said nothing, he turned away. Then a huge bright light covered him and he was gone.

I miss him so much, but lately I feel so angry inside, because of how his life was, and how it should have been. I wish he was here to hug, but he isn't. I'm angry with myself for not taking the chance I was given, and I'm angry at my step mum for not doing the decent thing by contacting us before he died. Not just for us, but for dad.

I am not looking forward to Friday, and seeing my step mum is going to be so hard. I will want to have my say, but I will have to hold my tongue. My dad will have a peaceful funeral and after this it will be time to move forward.

Let Love Lead You Always...

If you are lucky enough to still have both your parents with you. Then I ask you to please today, and make sure it is today, go and hug them, and tell them you love them. If you can't visit them, then pick up your phone and call them. If you're the type of person who gets embarrassed by doing this, please put your embarrassment away and just make the call, that visit.

My father died on 1st December 2007, it's been just 7 days since he has passed, and I am devastated. I didn't tell my dad those three important words, and I know now that I should have.
We had a rocky relationship for 20 years, and we just didn't see eye to eye. How stupid I was to let things of the past over rule my mind, and not love.

I should have acted with love and I should have always let love be my guide. But I didn't.
It's not until your parents have passed that you realise just how much they mean to you, and it's then you realise your squabbles meant nothing.

If you're currently having any differences with your parents, please put them aside. I don't want anyone to go through what me and my sisters are going through right now. It is heart breaking and so devastating. No one is perfect, your parents are people making their way on earth, just like you. They make mistakes too, and just because they're your parents, it doesn't mean they won't.

To end this, I want to say. I'm so sorry dad, and I love you with all my heart. I just wish things had been different. They say you shouldn't have regrets, but I will always regret not making up with you. Your Marge.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In Loving Memory of Dad. 1938-2007

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.



Author - Mary Elizabeth Frye

Sadly our dad passed away Saturday 1st December.
We miss and love you so much Dad.

Marge, Jess, Vaness & Jon.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Jim at the 02 Centre.

Here is Jim my middle son at the 02 centre last night with his mates. He's the cute blonde haired boy. :-)

Click Here to see it.

Oh yes and the three girls at the end are not with them, they just jumped in.

Zelda on DS Light

I'm playing Zelda on my eldest son's DS Light. I haven't played games other than 'The Sims2' 'Theme Hospital' 'Sim City 4000' and now I'm playing Zelda. I seem to be getting back the bug for computer games. I'm really enjoying Zelda, and it takes me back to the days when I used to play it on the Super Nintendo.

Hubby & I went to see his mum this morning, she had fallen over after visiting an anti smoking clinic, last week.. Luckily her arm isn't broken, but it looks awful. It's badly bruised and has a huge lump on it, the lump is a blood clot. She's in so much pain with it and the poor thing has trouble breathing because of her lungs. When I see her I want to give her Reiki, but I don't know how to? It's not that I don't know how, as of course I know how but, I just feel awkward as she might think I'm a complete nutter.

It's been a nice day today, and I am really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I still love my job. :)

17 year Old Stage. Arrgh!!

Well I'm back to arguing with my kids. Last year was with my eldest when he was 17. This year it's with my 2nd son who is 17!!!

What is it about being 17 that turns you into an arrogant selfish git! Hubby & I can't say anything to Jim atm, as when we do it turns into an argument. If we ask him to do something he gives some sarcastic comment and complains, if we ask him to clean after himself he's complaining again. I don't mean little complaints, I mean he's really arrogant, and he has an arrogant & selfish attitude atm. It's like he thinks he shouldn't have to do things for himself. He's been like this for a couple of months now, but it seems to be getting worse. It's starting to get me down, and after he was having a go at me and hubby for asking him to clean his mess up off the side, after he had done his breakfast, I lost my temper and told him to move out. He yelled he would if he could. To be honest, I don't really want him to move out, but his attitude makes me wish he would. I am sick to death of the tension in the house and I'm fed up with the arguments. I know he would be much happier if he left home.

Yes I love him to bits, but I don't really like the way he's behaving atm. Guess it's a stage he's going through like his brother did. But I am sick to death of it. Why should I put up with being treated like shit. All I ask for is some manners and a little respect. He goes round the house like he hates us.

I wish he would go back to being the polite, helpful and loving person he was before all this. He can really be a good person, and he is a good person. But sadly lately he has this bad attitude towards me and his dad.

Samhain

Samhain is approaching, and this is my most favourite festival. I love this Sabbat and doing my own little celebration. This is the time when the veil is the thinnest, and when we can invite our loved ones who have passed over to join us. This is the time when I really give my thanks to spirit, it is a time of reflection and also renewal. It's a time to celebrate those who have passed over.
It is the start of the Witches New year.

On 31st October, which most people who know this day as Halloween, but for pagans it's Samhain. My main focus is Divination. This is the only time I get my crystal ball out. I will also do a tarot reading for myself and reflect and think of my loved ones past. I also like to write poems dedicated to those past and also the God and the Goddess.

For this festival I will also be working up to clearing out some of my old, to make way for the new things that will be entering my life.


Blessed Samhain.

What it means to be a pagan.

As most people know I'm a pagan. I've been pagan since about 2002. It wasn't a decision I just made on the spot, it happened over time and I have been so happy ever since. It wasn't until I went through a real tough period of my life trying to figure out, what life was 'really' about and trying to figure out certain religious beliefs I was brought up to believe.

I thought in this post I would write what it means to be pagan to me.

For me it is all about Mother Earth, caring for her and the environment. It's about Recycling everything. From paper, to plastic pots to clothes... just about everything you can.

Looking after our insect and animal Kingdom. Gone are the days where I used to kill a spider, or a beetle. Now I look after them and will even pick snails up in the street and put them in safety. Some people will argue that you must let nature take it's course, but we receive help through means of people in our lives, guides and for some, even angels. So that's why I help the insects etc. I'm being their guide.

I believe in Karma, and so believe that what goes around comes around. So I try to think before I act. I don't like confrontation and so prefer to just walk away if someones being difficult, if they want to be angry etc then let them. It's how I react that's important to me. However, I do have my days where I bitch, or may do something that afterwards I regret. That's part of life and I know that that's where the balance comes in. If I get angry I try to put it into positive use, like using it to make myself to something I have little confidence in. But then there's those times I lose it, but hey we're human right?

Being pagan, we understand there is a balance to everything. Ying and yang, light and dark, good and bad, right and wrong, male and female.... I believe things happen for a reason, and sometimes I know certain things that come into my life which may cause me stress, are here to teach me a lesson and are also bringing things to a balance.

I believe I'm a student here on earth, and my lesson is to achieve all I can and to pay back any karma that needs to be healed. I'm here to learn, to teach and to guide. It's my belief we're all here for the same reason. We're all students making our way and each little problem, each thing that gives us stress is a lesson that needs to be learned, so we can grow and move forward.

I believe in the spirit world, which I believe is home. Once we have lived out life and our body dies, our spirit steps over into the spirit world, where we reflect on our life we just left, see our mistakes and our achievements until we feel ready to move on to another life. I'm very open minded and I could go on about this subject, but I think I'll leave it for another post.

I celebrate the seasons in the Sabbats that take place. Even though I am not a winter lover, and hate being cold, winter seems to bring out the student in me that wants to learn and give thanks to the God and the Goddess. I love Samhain, it is my most favourite sabbat and is the beginning of the Wheel of the Year us pagans celebrate. It's the same as new year for everyone else, but ours starts with Samhain.

I'm not too keen on the term Witch and rarely use it. Society, the media and religion has made this name seem, dirty unkind and cruel. Witches are none of these. Of course there are good people and bad people, it doesn't matter what religion you follow or where you come from, there are good and bad in every religion, culture etc etc etc.......
Some Witches will hex, they believe that this helps with the balance of things. However, hexing is not for me. If I was to hex then I would know that my karma would come back and bite me on the ass 3 times stronger. What you give out is what you get back!!!

OK so that's a little about me being a pagan, but there's so much more. If anyone would like to comment, feel free to. If you want to discuss it in more depth, I'm happy to give out my email to those who want to discuss further.

There's also a great spiritual forum that covers subjects like these. Postive Slant

And also Crazy About Forums

And The Cult Following




Maggie.

October chat

I've not written in here for a while, well I can say life is dandy. :)

I'm really enjoying my job, and after being a floater for the past six weeks, I am finally getting my own set at work. I've passed my BICS 1 and am taking my BICS 2 soon. These are recognised qualifications and so could help me to find another job in the near future.

I've been to the pub with hubby a few times, but we'll have to curb that to save up for xmas. I can't believe it's only 11 weeks to go!

I'm finally getting back into reading, but I don't read half as much as I used to. Also I don't get on the internet as much as I used to either. Some things I have stopped doing for a little while, but will get back to them as soon as I am ready.

My son Joe, loves his new school. He seems to be doing well and seems to have gained an attitude since going to secondary school. Hmmmmm....

Alex my eldest is doing well in Uni, and he's enjoying it. He's taking a four year course. Jim my middle son, is back at college and has dropped Biology and has taken up Geography instead, as he really likes the teacher. So hopefully he will do well in this subject. He's doing another two years in college.

I'm just waiting for a book I ordered to be delivered to WHSmith, it's Jean Plaidy's Katharine, The Virgin Widow. I love Tudor fiction and Katharine of Aragon is my most favourite queen. Can't say much about the current Tudor TV series on BB2 though, it seems to be rushed and a load of rubbish atm! I hope it gets better!

That's it I think! :)

Monday 24th Sept 2007

This is the start of my 4th week in work, it has been going really well and I have really been enjoying myself. I can't wait to go! Hehehe.
However, this morning I was sent home as I have a tummy bug, I was sick twice in work and felt really ill, so my boss sent me home. I'm going back this afternoon as I feel a lot better. They can't keep me away! LOL.

Monday

Today is the start of my second week at work. This morning I was a lot more confident and felt more a part of the team there. I really do enjoy my job, and kind of wish I had gone back to work ages ago. I work really hard and although it's only part time, having to get up at 4am really makes me tired throughout the day, even if I have a nap. But when it comes to going back in the afternoon, the walk to the school builds my energy up again.

I'm considering getting another job soon, to fit into the hours I have free at home during the week. I'm going to give it a few weeks before I start searching, so I can find my way in the job I'm in atm. Hubby asked me to wait and settle down first in this one, so that's what I'm doing. Getting up at 4am is really hard for me atm, if it wasn't for the fact that hubby has to get up at that time too, I'd turn over and go back to sleep.

Reading has really taken a back seat with me atm, I'm hardly reading at all. I'm not even sure I can complete the 'something about me challenge' that I posted about on my book blog. But it is going till December, so may be I'll fit some in somewhere. But I'm not going to pressure myself about it. I'm just reading now and then.

Madonna

I just wanted to say here, that I kind of owe Madonna for helping me back to work (as well as my family and friends). If it wasn't for her new album Confessions on the dance floor, I'm not sure I'd be back at work 'right now'. Listening to certain songs on her album, gave me the confidence and the dream to get back to work. Her songs Issac, Jump & Push, filled me with so much desire, need and confidence to go back to work. They drove me on to do just that.

They had messages within them that spoke to me and meant something. I will carry on listening to them to give me more confidence to face the things I find difficult in work, and to find another job. :)

Thursday at Work

Well, today I had a good time at work. I'm growing in confidence of what I have to do. The lady I work with in the mornings is so lovely. Her name is Rose, and we get on so well. I'm not sure I'll be in the Sports Gym with her next week as I'm a floater, so I could be somewhere else in the school.
I don't mind this as I want to try other sets anyway. But I shall miss working with Rose.

Tomorrow is Friday, yay! The weekend is coming and then that means I can have a drink and relax!

Shattered....

It's only Wednesday and already I am shattered. I am so tired all of the time. Having to get up at 4am is taking its toll on me lol.

I'm getting used to the work I have to do, and the machinery. I quite enjoy doing that. The only obstacle I have atm is people. I really need to drop my shyness. I hate being shy. This is one reason why I wanted to go back to work, I want to be more social and may be make some new friends. Everyone there is so nice and they're all like friends, but I'm very quiet. I know what I need, I need some confidence, and hopefully that will come soon.

First Day At Work

Today I started my first day at my new Job. I'm a cleaner in a school. To be honest I always thought it would be easy being a cleaner, but it's not. It is 'hard' work. Rooms have to be kept clean and tidy, toilets need cleaning, shower rooms, etc etc...... Then there's the machinery, don't ask me how many types there are! Today I used one that swept and washed the floor at the same time, it was such a huge and bulky machine, and there's a certain way to prepare it, using it and emptying it. The people who work in my department are really nice, it's going to take some time getting to know all of them though. The teachers were very appreciative that the school was clean and tidy, which was really nice.

Afterwards hubby & I went to the bank to sort out some details. We noticed that they had me down in an Unskilled Occupation. That really is crap, because, as a Cleaner you have to under go training, take exams and are given certificates if you pass. These certificates are as good as any NVQ's. So it's not unskilled at all.

After being awake since 4am, and working for four hours this morning and having to sit at the bank for ages. I am now shattered! I've had a nap, but the tiredness hasn't shifted yet. But I'll get used to it. The best part though, is that I am working again. I've wanted to get back to work for ages, and have got the job I wished for.

A Little Cutie!!!!

This is two pictures of my Sister In-laws dog. He is so cute and looks like a ball of wall. His name is Jazz and he's adorable!!

Work and a New Beginning!

Well, I went for a Job interview this morning at a school. And was told I can start on the 3rd September! I am so excited about it, and also a little nervous. It's been a long time since I last worked, and now I can't wait to get back into it.

My hubby also works there, he's the Supervisor, so this will be interesting LOL But we've talked loads about it and are both looking forward to it.

I can't wait for 3rd September to come around now!!!!! :)

Opticians

I have an appointment with the Optician tomorrow. Jess convinced me to go and make an appointment for an eye test, as she went and had one as she was suffering with Migraines for a while, and it turns out she needs glasses when she reads and is at the PC.

I don't get headaches, but at times when I read I can feel my eyes straining and I end up squinting sometimes.

Hopefully I won't need any glasses, but if I do I don't mind. I can just tell everyone I went to Spec Savers! LOL.

Job Interview

I have a job interview on Thursday!!!! Yay!!! I'm so excited but also nervous at the same time. :) :) :)

A Levels Exam Results

Both my two eldest boys had to pick up their A level exam results yesterday.
Alex whose 18, has just left college and passed his A level results and has now been accepted into University. He's going to attend the Greenwich University and study Computing and Games Software.

Jim whose 17, failed his A level results, and is going to re-take his studies at college. He's going to re-study P.E & Biology. He is keeping the option open to be a Fire fighter. I hope this is a dream he creates. But he's not 100% sure what he wants to do yet.

I think they're both lucky to have this opportunity to go to college and Uni. If I knew what I know now back then, I would have done the same.

A Nice Evening ......

Hubby & I were all set out to go to Hastings tonight to see Joe, Jess, Jeff & Sophie. But just before we got on the motor way, the traffic report on the radio said there was a 10 mile trail back of traffic jam on the M25. So we had to turn around and go home. We were both so disappointed as we were really looking forward to seeing them and having an evening out.

I knew there must be a reason why, other than the traffic jam. The Universe always has a reason why. Anyway at 4 pm, my hubby's mum and sister Corrie turns up. It was a lovely surprise. Corrie brought her dog Jazz with her, and so I had loads of fun with him, as he's so cute. Also it helped with some of the healing of not having Amber anymore.

I got to learn that my sister in-law, loves to read. She's a bookaholic! So I gave her 3 books of authors she hasn't tried yet. I gave her Priestess of the White by Trudi Canavan, I was planning to re-read it, but I didn't like it the first time round, and she said she loved fantasy, so I thought the book should go to a good home of someone who may appreciate it more. I also gave her Jodi Picoult - Plain Truth, it's another book I didn't enjoy but loads of other people love her books. It's just not for me though. I also gave her Good In bed by Jennifer Weiner. This is a brilliant book, and every woman should read it. It's just sitting on my shelf so that's why I gave it to her.

Now I know Jess, may say hey you haven't given me any, well I have some books Jess may want too. ;)

Amber & Me

I shouldn't really been doing this, but I wanted to post a pic of Amber and me, when we had her. This pic was taken in April of this year. I really miss her, and part of me does regret that we found her a new home. I know she's not far and I know she went to great people. But I miss all those happy and fun times we had with her. I know hubby & I made the right decision as we both felt we couldn't cope with her, as the stress was just taking over. It may be because we had a bad start off with her, as she was ill that caused us to worry so much. Other people don't seem or at least to us, don't seem to worry so much about their pets, may be it's just that we found it hard to fit into the routine with Amber? But Amber completely turned our lives upside down. I regret that I didn't look into it more than I did, all I thought of was that 'I' wanted a puppy. Hubby didn't but he still got her for me. We often say, may be if we never had had a bad start off with her, we may have kept her? But we can't keep saying what if? After all we made our decision.

The thing I miss the most is the walks with her, Joe misses her loads and I was angry with myself for a while for breaking his heart. I still am angry at times. I'm also angry that we put Amber through that of having to go to a new home. I know on the day she left she loved the new owner she was going to, and was so excited he was taking her out. We were supposed to keep her when we got her, but we tried really hard.

I don't know why I'm saying all this? I just felt like writing it down.

Basically if 'you're' looking for a puppy, don't do what I did. Make sure that 'everyone' in the family wants one first. If you've had children, then you'll know what it's like to be looking after a little one 24/7. It is HARD WORK, it's not all about fluffy little puppies running around. There's vet bills, and not to mention the extra cost of having to feed the puppy and getting every thing he/she needs. Puppies need a lot of attention, love and care. Don't be ignorant to these facts like I was. I come under the category of those irresponsible people who get puppies and think it'll all be easy! It's not!!! Although I did loads of research before we got her, I obviously didn't do enough and I went in with my eyes closed and focused too much on the negative.

A Week with out Joe.

OMG, I'm sitting here crying. My youngest son Joe has just left with my sister & her hubby and daughter to go to Hastings for a week. It's the first time Joe will have been away for a week, and I am so going to miss him. But I know he's going to be so busy he won't miss me. I don't know what came over me? As I didn't think I'd cry. But as they left and was out of the door the tears started to come. I shut the door after waving them goodbye and ran upstairs as I didn't want my eldest boys and hubby to see me crying.

I'm OK now, the tears are stopping. I don't know how I'll cope when all my boys fly the nest.
Silly me I know.

My Mate Kim.

I spent the afternoon with my mate today, we've known each other for about 11 years now. She's my one and only friend I have in 'real' life. I don't make friends easily, as I'm not confident like that. It stems from my school days. I was always the odd one out, the quiet one and the one who never got picked for team play outs on Rounders etc. I never felt like I fitted in at school, and I've sort of grown up and find it hard to join in with other people. I get worried that if I made new friends, they'd expect too much from me, more than I can give, as I'm kind of a solitary person. When someone does want to talk to me, I sort of feel like 'Why do they want to talk to me?' Because of this and because I don't join in with discussions and find it hard to walk up to people and chat, I have been told I come across as aloof. I really don't mean to be like this, it's just my low self esteem. In my own home and around my family I have tons of confidence, it's just other areas when it comes to talking to others that I have a problem. That's one of the reasons I like the Net as I can open up and be myself, without having to talk face to face with anyone. Anyway enough of that.....

My mate has two Staff's, they're cute dogs but when they first see you they go mental! I have yet another two scratches that are turning into bruises on my arm. Storm and Brandy are their names and my mate wants to breed them, I think she's crazy!!!!!!
We took them for a walk today and I could see in some people's faces they were worried about walking past us. There has been some bad press in the papers about Staff's and I am weary myself, not just about my mates dogs, but I am weary of all dogs. Even my puppy when we had her. I have this little fear about dogs, due to my hubby's dog when I first met him, who didn't like me! I'm not as scared now, but it's always on my mind.

I kind of feel sorry for my mate, because as long as I've known her she's been on her own. She's had to bring up her two children on her own, with hardly any help from her ex. Now she's going through the teenage thing with her 17 year old son, and where it's easier for me, because I have hubby to back me up, she has no one. So she's really having a bit of a rough time atm. I listen and try to give some advice, but she has to do what she feels is right. It's easy for me to tell her to do this and do that, when I go home to hubby.

One of the things I like about my mate is she always asks me for a reading, but she takes them too seriously, although I do tell her not to, they're only meant as inspiration. No cards can tell her, her future, they only guide to bring positive actions and inspiration into your life.

My mate has been a good mate to me, there have been some rocky times. But we've stayed friends throughout. I couldn't imagine not having her friendship. I think she's in my life to teach me not to be judge mental, and I'm in her life to teach her there is life after death. As she's terrified of dying. But we're also in each others life to give each other support and friendship.

More Pics!!

OK so I'm totally embarrassing myself now, but I don't care! LOL.

Here's some pics of me when I was small. The top two are of when I was a baby, and on one I'm sitting on my aunts lap. The bottom left is my Nursery photo and the bottom right, I'm pre-nursery age with my brother John.

Writing a Book - A Poem.

I'm trying to sit and write a book,
I wish it was as easy as it looks,
But words they come and words they go,
My mind goes blank and I'm shouting NO!!!!

I so want to get this story done,
But I'm also having a lot of fun,
I'm creating characters I never knew
But so wish that they could come true,

There is a Grace and a Carly too,
I bet you wish that you knew
Who they were and what they do,
The journeys they have that would touch me and you,

But you'll have to wait till the day,
I write the last line and hope and pray,
That my story may get published so,
For the story to open and flow,

But if it doesn't get published at all,
I will still share the story with you,
For what is a book without a story,
and people to read in all it's glory,

It's something to pass down to my generations too,
They will know what it was like for me and you,
Knowing what it's like in this day and age,
I hope they enjoy every page.

' © Copyright By Margo. July 2007'

Me With Long Hair!

I thought I'd add this pic here. It's me back in 1997. Before I knew about PC's and when my hair was beautiful and long!!! Oh I Miss it, if only back then I knew how gorgeous my hair was. *Sigh*

Btw I was drunk in this pic, that's why I'm posing like a tart! LOL.

It's Over!!

The Harry Potter series is over, well sort of as I can always re-read the books again which I plan to do over and over again. I do plan to re-read all my books, including The Priestess of the White by Trudi Canavan & To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee, which I hated. But I've read books before and disliked them only to like them when I give them another go.

Atm I've had a headache these past four days in which I read Harry Potter non stop. I was going to take a rest from reading but now I'm reading HP & the Prisoner of Azkaban. I guess I'm just addicted to reading. But no doubt soon I'll be taking time out as that's how it goes.

The kids have broken up for Summer, Joe goes away with his auntie, uncle and cousin to Hasting for a week in August. He's really looking forward to that.

I'm hoping to be working from September, I'm so bored at home now.

18 year olds. ARRRHHHHHH!

Friday evening, my eldest son Alex went out to the pub with his mates. We hate it when he goes to the pub as it has caused problems, as he thinks it's so macho to drink. I compromised and said I'd wait up till 12am for him, but of course this wasn't good enough, as he said he would be out longer than that. He told me not to wait up, I warned him the door would be locked after 12am and that if he wasn't back by then he had better make arrangements to sleep at a friends house. So 11pm comes around and I text him to warn him I'll be going to bed soon and that I'll be locking up. So he texts me back, saying he's 18 and why am I doing this? He asks me not to lock the door. After a few text's, he decided to make his way home, not wanting to go to a friends that night.

Well, when he got in he was so drunk he could hardly stand, he was swaying all over the place and it was so clear on his face that he was just about 'here'. He started babbling about how we're too over protective etc, and I told him while he goes to the pub, I will always wait up for him and expect him home by 12am. (for some reason he wants to stay out till 2am! or longer!) Because of the things that happen in the world today, like kids getting stabbed for no reason these days, plus he can't drink sensibly we want him home at a decent hour so we know he's safe. There's also the issue from personal experience, as his dad was attacked with knives when he was just 20 for no reason, just because a bunch of idiots wanted someone to pick on, his dad is lucky he survived. So hubby has this on his mind and wants Alex to be safe. As parents it's our responsibility to keep him safe.

Anyway, after Alex has his little rant, he goes straight up stairs to bed......... And yes you guessed it, throws up all over his floor!!!! So I made him clean it up, there was no way I was touching it. Through coaching him, he got it all cleaned up in between him falling sleep, he had a rough night after that and spent Saturday with a rather nasty hang over HAHA!

I dread the next time he wants to go to the pub, which seems to be every Friday night now. I know we can't protect him all the time and if he wasn't going to the pub, I wouldn't have to wait up all the time. But he can't see that's it's just because we love him. He said his friends parents aren't like this, but like I said to him I don't give a stuff about them, I care about him. I care enough about him to want to make sure he's home safely, so I will be waiting up for him for as long as it takes for him to get out of this 'I must get drunk at the pub stage!'

An Angel

Tonight I saw an angel,
She was standing on the stage,
She wore a pretty smile,
She had a flower in her hair,
I looked up to this angel,
And knew she was the best,
I'll never forget when she saw us,
and put her hands up in the air,
She performed with such grace,
I loved every single moment,
I love this little angel,
She has my heart forever more.

Tonight I went and saw Sophie's Show with her mum, Jess. Sophie was fantastic and I was so proud of her on that stage. I felt so happy when she saw us and waved back. I am so proud of Sophie and my heart leapt when she performed. Although I don't have a little girl of my own, I know Sophie is my little girl. She's so beautiful.

Today - 17th July 2007

I had a lovely afternoon with my sister and niece today. I blow dried my niece's hair and then we sat and did two puzzles together, after that we read together. She is so bright she learnt quickly what certain words were. She's like an old soul in a young body.

My sister made me the most amazing lunch! It was a fruit Salad with Avocado (which I hadn't tried before) apple, sultanas, orange and walnuts. It was so delicious.

I can see Sophie (my niece) in years to come as a young lady, and I know she's going to make everyone proud, she already does. Saturday I am going to see her on stage doing her ballet dancing and tap dancing. I am really looking forward to that.

It was one of my neighbours funeral today, he was an elderly man and he found out in October that he had Cancer, and it quickly spread to the rest of his body. He leaves a wife, and a grown up family. I didn't really know him, only to say hello, yet when I see the hearse today there was a lump in my throat, I think I will miss seeing him. Although I didn't know him well, it was normal to see him outside doing his car and pottering about. Things like this, always make you wish you got to know people better and they make you think of your own actions in life.

Parenting is hard

You know, parenting is hard work. I think it must be the hardest job on earth. Although it's very enjoyable most of the time, and the love within a family is one of the most beautiful things ever, at times you feel like pulling your hair out.

Parenting doesn't come with an instruction booklet, oh yes you get those annoying booklets in baby packs for new parents with babies, that tell you how to do things the 'right' way, and yet eventually you find your own 'right' way.

But I have to say one of the hardest stages is the teenage years. The reason for this is, as a parent you find yourself in a situation of needing to let go. As a parent you try so hard to keep your children safe, then the day comes when they turn 18 and think they know it all, and don't need you anymore. Well, they think they don't need you anyway, but really they do.

I'm so proud of all my kids and I love them dearly. Even if at times they think I don't cause I moan at them for things like staying out all night when all I wanted was a simple text or phone call to say all was well, and what he (they) was doing. Oh well, I guess as a parent you have to go through a phase with your kids, and one day you come out the other side and can laugh about it all.

Live Earth Concert

I watched the Live Earth Concert yesterday, and I really enjoyed it. I spent the afternoon/evening reading on my bed as I listened to the music and waited for my favourite acts.

My favourites were:

Keane: Doesn't Tom Chaplin look different! He looked healthier and happier)

Metallica: When they said 'Nothing Else Matters' it was fantastic!!!!!

Foo Fighters: It's the first time I have seen these guys sing live, they were fantastic I love 'Best of You'

And not forgetting the wonderful and very talented Madonna!!! She was brilliant! I also love her new song 'Hey You' she is such an inspiration and when I'm her age, I hope my body is in as good as shape her hers, she's looks fantastic!

It worked!!

I saw certain celebrity on TV this afternoon on the Grand Prix and I felt no animosity towards her at all. I've been working on my feelings and negative thoughts and emotions etc. I actually felt like I liked her, and I can honestly sit here and say I wish her well. We may be different and have different lives, but in the end we're all human.

I'm on a Mission

I'm on a mission, I'm trying to be as positive as I can possibly be. I've been doing this since I last posted about a certain celebrity. So instead of feeling down about certain situations, I'm trying to see the positive in them and in people. I'm doing this by stepping out of the situation and trying to view it from the outside.

It's helped me this week, and I am going to try and keep it going. Now I know that in life, there's a balance, sometimes we find ourselves being negative. May be this is the balance that's needed at times. After all, we're only human and there's a balance in everything (Night and day, good and bad, male and female etc..) . If you find yourself being negative, as long as you're not hurting another then I think it's OK.

But at the moment, my mission is to try and see the good in everything and try to be as positive as I can be.

If anyone else wants to try it and join in, feel free.

All Ages can read My blog!

Yay, this a blog is OK for all ages! Apparently I only have one bad word on here which is asshole! LOL

Peace and Quiet?

Last night my neighbour had her music after 9:30 pm. It was on for just under half an hour, and although it wasn't long. It was really stressful for us. We don't know when she's going to turn it off, or for how long it will play? I end up sitting there waiting for her music to come on.

In all honesty, although it pisses me off. I can put up with her music during the day. But when the evening comes, it's different. Hubby has to get up at 4:30am for work and all we want to do in the evening is relax. At the moment I'm finding that really hard to do. Also I'm trying to not let it get to me or get me down. It's affected me in the fact that I can't relax and join in my forums like I usually do, and also I can't relax enough to read right now. I can't relax like I used too, full stop!

So I'm practicing more reiki and trying to keep myself busy. I'm also trying not to hate my neighbour, but instead to think kindly of her, I can tell you thats hard to do when they don't respect your peace and quiet.

This is supposed to be a number 9 year, where good things happen. well number 9 has always been an unlucky number for me, and it seems to be proving me right!


But enough ranting, I'll try and think of positive thoughts. Hmmmmm

Celebrity Hates

There's a certain celebrity I have really disliked over the years, I've hated every thing about her and have slagged her off rotten at times. But lately, I've been thinking about why I dislike her? There are a couple of reasons, but in reality I don't think my reasons are justified. As I don't know this woman personally, and she's most probably a lovely lady. Plus, why do I put so much energy into her life when it's my life that's important?

Here's some reasons:

She doesn't seem to do much for charity, but then have I really researched that to find out what charities she does support? The answer to that is no.

Her pout winds me up, but then she is a celebrity and her life is in the public eye and all about the celeb status.

Am I jealous? I guess I am little, not of who she is, but of what she can do with all that money she has.

Is she a good role model? I don't think she is really due to how thin she is. it's obvious she is only that thin as she has worked at it to be that thin. It's reported she is a size 0 and to be honest she looks it. I don't think it looks nice to be that thin, but she likes it so it's up to her.

Also she recently brought out a book, and when she was advertising it, she was on GMTV saying how easy it is to put a nappy in a tiny hand bag and still go out looking fab. The problem with this is, in the real world, mums need to take a lot more than a nappy out with them when you have a baby in tow. But hey, we don't all have minders and nannies to carry the huge load for us. Ok this isn't going as it's supposed to be going, but these are some of my reasons.

When celebs complain about being constantly photographed, it really pisses me off, as everyone that's famous is only so because they want to be (I'm talking pop stars, soap star, movie star etc). It goes with the job, you know that from the start of wanting to be famous. If you want to be famous then you know you have no private life as such, so you have choice if you don't like it give up your fame, move where no one else knows you, stop making records, movies, songs, modeling etc ......

So anyway, I've decided that instead of feeling real dislike for this person, to instead try and send out good vibes. When I think of her I'll try to remember what she's achieved, after all she is only where she is today through her own hard work. In reality she lives in a different world to me, where she shares her life with other celebs. It doesn't make her better than me, but also it doesn't make me better than her. We're all human, making our way in the world and in all honesty who am I to judge?

So I end this by wishing her well. Good luck to the band when they reform too. ;)

Update on my Writing.

Today, I let Jess read the first two chapters of my first book that I'm writing. I wanted to see if she liked it and her opinion. I'm open to lots of criticism, as it can only make my book better. Any away she really liked it, and she gave me even more encouragement to get this book done. So today I've been at the PC a lot more getting more added to my book. I'm really enjoying myself as I write it.

More Neigbour Trash

OK, so last night hubby & I were woken up by our neighbor having a fight in the street. Turns out, she & hubby have split, it was nasty and so people have taken sides. We got to hear all about her business as it was shouted out in the street, and I could see why people were angry. But still, I wonder how some adults can behave so childlike, especially when there's children involved. Anyway, windows got smashed and lots of screaming, shouting and punching. The police were called, and they didn't do much except watch the argument and made sure no one was violent. I was thinking at 3am, just lock the assholes up for the night! I want to go back to bed!!!!

We got back to bed at 4am in the end.

I was a bit peed off this morning about it, we woke up at 7:45am. I feel like blasting my music out and giving my neighbor a bit of her own medicine. But where will that get me? No where, that's where. So today is just another day. But I will try to remain positive and do some Reiki today and send some healing to the situation.

Disrespectful Neighbours

We've just had to put up with our Neighbour blaring her music out. We went through this in our last two houses and know the distress and depression it causes for those who are on the receiving end.

I don't understand why some people feel they need to blare their music out for everyone to hear, when there are simple things as headphones and also, a little respect. We've always respected our neighbour's and have never blared our music out. But it now seems you either fight it, which takes many years and a lot of distress or join them.

Also it always seems the case that, with neighbours who blare out their music, they get a peaceful life from the people next door. Don't get me wrong, I love music, but if I want mine on loud I'll put on my head phones. Why can't other people do the same?

Why don't people respect each others peace and quiet?

I'm Writing.

I'm currently writing two novels. Both are completely different to the other and I only started them as a friend encouraged me to do it. I've always wanted to write my own book, it's something I have tried in the past but had never got past the first chapter. So this time I am pleased to say I have got a lot further. :)

Of course every writer hopes that their book will get published, but if this doesn't happen for me, then so what. All I know at this present time is that I'm having lots of fun trying to create a book or two.

Addicted to Blogging

I found this over at Kailana's written World

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