Funeral on Friday

Friday is dads funeral, and I still can't believe he's gone. I can see him in my mind clearly, every detail of his face.

Last night I couldn't sleep, and when I closed my eyes I could see him looking out of a window (like a shop window) and he was surrounded by lights. I called to him and he turned and looked at me, and he looked sad, but said nothing, he turned away. Then a huge bright light covered him and he was gone.

I miss him so much, but lately I feel so angry inside, because of how his life was, and how it should have been. I wish he was here to hug, but he isn't. I'm angry with myself for not taking the chance I was given, and I'm angry at my step mum for not doing the decent thing by contacting us before he died. Not just for us, but for dad.

I am not looking forward to Friday, and seeing my step mum is going to be so hard. I will want to have my say, but I will have to hold my tongue. My dad will have a peaceful funeral and after this it will be time to move forward.